Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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