there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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