addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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