Jerry, you need to find god
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
