Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize