I saw his package. It spoke to me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you win again, gameday.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.