is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
