I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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