saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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