This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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