The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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