Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize