"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize