apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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