I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
