I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
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It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
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Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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