Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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