This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize