he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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