you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize