Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the raccoons are back...
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