Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
