Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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