We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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