I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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