My friends, they love my intelligence
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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