Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
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I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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