I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize