There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
