whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
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Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.