i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.