The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.