Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.