Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.