That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize