In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I met the friendliest cop last night
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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