He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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