She is in my trunk
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
