My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
