Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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