Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
