Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can you bring me the toilet please
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
