Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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