I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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