Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
