It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I booty called her while she was in labor.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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