yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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