craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The air taste purple.
Randomize
