All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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