im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize