WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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