Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
