ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
