maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
