She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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